I work with people who want to live life with a sense of purpose, peace and fulfillment but who face barriers such as feelings of depression, anxiety, sadness, emptiness and anger.

These barriers may be caused by major traumatic life experiences and/or can be a part of the different life stages and transitions that demand change.

Major traumatic life experiences include: childhood abuse (sexual, emotional, physical); a family member suffering from alcoholism or mental illness when growing up; living with a partner who is abusive (verbally, emotionally, or physically); struggling with a substance abuse problem yourself; dealing with grief and loss issues; or going through a separation/divorce.

Then there are barriers to living a fulfilling life that are caused by things such as: limiting belief systems; fear of making changes; lacking a sense of purpose and direction in life and work; not being able to express emotions; feeling stressed; and not feeling passionate about work.

These are issues that demand attention and stand in the way of living life with a sense of purpose and "joie de vivre."

I have extensive experience working with people who have gone through major traumatic life circumstances and those who feel trapped in a life they do not enjoy.

It is a joy for me to see people move from a place where they feel overwhelmed, stuck, depressed and angry to feeling that life is worth living to the full. The fact that I have a small part in that transformation through the counselling process gives me a sense of fulfillment.

The majority of people have the desire to live in a close, intimate, nurturing, sexual relationship: the need to connect deeply with another human being; to love and be loved; the need to feel safe emotionally; the need to belong. The need to express ourselves sexually drives us to form a deep trusting bond with a special person.

There are traumatic events which can undermine this connection, such as: betrayal of trust; affairs; substance abuse; emotional, verbal and physical abuse; chronic and debilitating illness (physical and/or mental) of one of the partners; death of a child and others.

These events shake the foundation of the relationship and the partners in the relationship require support and skills to cope.

Then there are the issues in a relationship that slowly but surely eat away at the intricate fabric of the connection. These issues may include (but are certainly not limited to): lack of communication; negative patterns of thoughts and behaviours; lack of respect for the partner; differences in parenting styles; disagreements regarding the roles of men and women in society and household; finances - spending habits; quality and frequency of sexual relations; control issues, etc.

Very often couples struggle, see the relationship deteriorate and lack skills to resolve the issues and stay connected. Feelings of loneliness, disconnection and resentment set in and as time goes on the negative patterns get ingrained and the spark disappears.

I have worked with many couples who have presented a variety of issues. I help them do some problem solving, look at the patterns of relating as well as the underlying feelings.

This approach has allowed me to help many couples find fulfillment in a more nurturing and intimate relationship.

Couples who are in a relationship where there is a "blended" family face additional challenges to those mentioned above.

There are issues such as value differences with respect to parenting, money, religion, etc. The fact that these values have been established in a former family context makes them more prominent in the new couple and family relationship.

There is often left over "baggage" from a former relationship, such as the fear of being taken advantage of, trust issues, and residual anger. Expectations of the present couple relationship are often based on the past, such as the level of togetherness, finances, roles, etc. There is also the additional issue of dealing with the ex-partner of one or both partners.

Parenting issues are more complicated as there are biological, step and sometimes "our" children, some of whom may live full-time with the couple and others part-time. Establishing and maintaining rules takes more effort on behalf of the couple and consideration of all the children involved.

What is the role of the stepparent?   There are the feelings of the children to consider: their feelings about their parents' divorce, the new partner, the new situation, etc.

Couples in a blended family need to be able to communicate openly and clearly, spend time together to keep the couple relationship strong, have a high tolerance for change and be very flexible.

These skills can be learned and sitting down with someone who is aware of the issues and will support the couple in their journey has proven to be very beneficial for many.